PCOS

I was diagnosed with PCOS about a year ago.  Since then I feel like its one thing after another.  Weight gain, the possibility of infertility, acne, headaches, high blood pressure, lots of pain, a possible heart attack (which I'm still convinced it was nothing, but who knows), and again, lots of pain.

In February I had finally started getting comfortable with myself, which is huge for me.  I've never really been comfortable in my body, but it was something that I was working on.  Not too long after I'm finally becoming comfortable with myself, my blood pressure went up and then weeks later I'm in the hospital for what they were thinking was a heart attack.  Due to high BP and a possible heart attack, I was not able to work out until I saw a cardiologist and had all my tests come back ok. Due to not working out I gained a TON of weight and now I'm back to square one. I'm so uncomfortable in my body again, its crazy! I almost didn't go vacation and almost didn't meet up with people from the cruise due to being embarrassed about myself.

Due to feeling uncomfortable and sometimes even being a little depressed about it all, I started reading blogs, websites about PCOS, and diets for PCOS.  As I was reading some blogs, I came a blog that said this "I'm pissed off at the world. I'm angry that I keep gaining weight, my face is broken out like a teenager, the hair on top of my head is thinning, and my already embarrassing facial hair is getting worse (because of PCOS). I feel like PCOS has taken over my entire identity. I don't recognize my body anymore. I'm self-conscious and it's hurting my marriage." I have always known there are people going through diseases and trials that are much bigger than mine and I need to be thankful for my little trials.  This blog made me realize it all that much more and to be grateful that as much pain as I'm in and how I sometimes struggle, its not affecting me like it is others. 

I'm determined to beat this syndrome and not give up.  I've signed up for a couple races in the next few months, started CrossFit and will probably start doing Insanity in the mornings. Lets hope I'm able to drop some weight in the next few months.  Unfortunately a big side effect of PCOS is weight gain and holding weight.  I'm determined to beat this!! I hoping that if I lose this weight, my pain won't be as bad, my chances of infertility go down and I wont have any blood pressure issues anymore.  Lets cross our fingers!!