Weight

My weight is something that I've always struggled with. I try not to, because this is how I am and I will NEVER be skinny like my sisters, Aunts and cousins are, but I still do struggle. I wish I was skinny, but I'm just not built like that.
I have my ups and downs with my confidence, but it took a slight plummet this past week. I don't know why, but weight has been a lot of topic of conversations lately. First, I was talking to a trainer at Gold's Gym who was trying to get me to sign up with him. He did a free workout with me and told me "You have really strong abs, we just need to find them under there." Ummm, thanks?! Is that a dis or a compliment? That was a while ago, but it sometimes still creeps into my head. Needless to say, I didn't sign up to work with him after I felt really dumb and really fat.
A few days ago someone made a comment to me about my weight. I know the person who said this to me wasn't meaning this comment to be mean or rude, but it kind of bothered me. I was told as I was sitting on her bed eating carrots "Lins, I don't get it. You eat so healthy and exercise every day and look like you do. Me and Amy (changed the name so I don't give away who said this) eat like crap and don't work out and look like this" Well thank you!! I think I felt about 10x bigger at that moment and pretty much didn't know what to say.
Last night at FHE I was talking to one of the girls in my Ward who I think is gorgeous and I would kill to look like her!! She was talking to a guy on the phone and he said something about a girl that he used to date and how skinny she was. She asked if he only dated really skinny girls and the guys reply was "Why? are you self conscious about that" She said "No, I've just been told by other guys that I'm bigger than the typical girl that they usually date" The guy then responded with "You're not THAT big." If the guy was standing right there I would have punched him and not felt bad about it at all!!!! This girl is a size 4 or 5 at the VERY biggest and is seriously gorgeous. I can't believe she even gave the guy the time of day after that and went on a date with him. She deserves SO much better than someone saying that to her!
Why does weight matter so much to guy? Why does the world make it that you're not good enough unless your skinny? Why can't I just be comfortable with myself the way I am? Why have I been told that I might not get any dates because of my weight? One of these days, someone will look past my weight! One of these days I'll be comfortable with myself. Maybe that's why I'm doing all these races. I'm proving to everyone, you don't have to be skinny to be active and to have fun!!